There is a knock at my door and I answer it.
Me: Hello, Yoda! How are you?
Yoda: Fine, I am.
Me: Great. Come on in and have a seat.
Yoda enters and takes a seat.
Me: Say, how old are you now?
Yoda: Old I am, years 878 born I was, ago.
Me: How’s that? Are you 878 years old?
Yoda: 878 am I.
Me: Okay, I think. So anyway, what brings you to this neck of the woods?
Yoda: Concerned I am. Danger there is.
Me: Danger? What kind of danger?
There is another knock on my door. I excuse myself and answer.
Me: Tonto! Hey. It’s good to see you. Come on in and cool your silverheels.
Tonto enters and sits on the floor. (Indian fashion)
Tonto: Long time no see.
Me: Yes, it has been a long time. Do you know Yoda?
Tonto: Little green man, yes.
Yoda: Welcome, you are.
Me: So, Yoda was just telling me about some trouble brewing.
Yoda: People not yet old, listen they do not.
Me: Huh?
Yoda: In great peril you are.
Tonto gets up and peeks through the blinds. He looks both ways and cautiously returns to his seat.
Me: From what?
Yoda: Lurks danger everywhere there is.
Tonto: Tonto see no danger. Green man lie.
Yoda: In wrong place does Tonto look.
Tonto: Huh?
Me: I get it. Danger lurks. We are in great peril.
Tonto: Green man strange.
There is an uncomfortable pause that hovers for a long time.
Me: Hey, let’s try this: Knock, knock!
Tonto: Tonto love Knock Knock joke. Laugh long time after.
Me: Great—Knock, knock.
Yoda: Come in.
Tonto: No. Green man say: Who there?
Yoda: Who? Me?
Me: Yes, er, you just say, who’s there.
Yoda: Again let us try. Wait—there is no try—only do.
Me: Knock, knock.
Yoda: Come in.
Tonto: No! Green man say, who there?
Me: You are not a party guy, are you, Yoda?
Yoda: Who’s there?
Me: Nobel.
Yoda: What?
Tonto: No! Green man lie! Say, Nobel who?
Yoda: Nobel who?
Me: No bell—that’s why I knocked! Aha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha ha!
Tonto: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Green man fall for it! Ha ha ha! Maybe him buy Brooklyn Bridge next? Ha ha.
Yoda: Go now, I must. Force be with you, may the.
Me: Sorry, I am. Bye-Good. Bed bugs bite, don’t let. Later. Uh huh.
Tonto: Green man go now.
Next Week: An Evening With Jar Jar Binks and Charlie Chan.
Copyright 2010 Tom Roy
