Sherman Ramsey got up to answer the knock at the door. He knew it would be Tiffany's date. His daughter Tiffany had a knack for attracting boys that he didn't like. It was the one ritual of parenthood he detested, having to be civil to Tiffany's boyfriends. She sure could pick 'em. Sherman often wondered if she had a brain in her head. He opened the door and beheld the focus of his daughter's affections. This one looked perfect.
He stood about five feet. His black and white hair grew into a single, twisting spike, ending in a blaze of florescent orange. "Is T-ti –tif-tiff-tiffany ready?" he stammered and slurred. Was he drunk?
"I'll check.” Ramsey assured. “Would you like to come in... uh, I didn't get your name…."
"Yeah." he said, and shuffled in, grabbing a fistful of candies out of a dish in the hallway, spilling some on the floor. Sherman Ramsey went to the foot of the stairs and hollered up, "Tiffany! Your date is here!" There was no answer.
"So, what was your name?"
"Tom Cruise,” he replied with an irritated smirk.
"Really? Wow! That's pretty wild. I bet you get a lot of startled reactions with a name like that."
"I guess I would if it really was my name. God, I was kidding," he said as he rolled his eyes and stuck a finger down his throat.
Ramsey stood with his hands on his hips, glaring down at the young suitor. "You've got a lot of nerve, coming to take my daughter out for the evening, and then act like that..."
He paused as the little punk started making faces at him. "All right, you're not taking my daughter out tonight or any night! You can just leave! Right now,"
"Oh, like I'm real scared!" the rotten little punk taunted.
"All right, stay there a minute, I'll be right back..."
Sherman Ramsey came back with a rifle. "Okay laughing boy, let's hear some smart-ass remarks now!" he chuckled as he took aim.
Tiffany entered the room.
"Get back Tiffany," shouted Ramsey, "I'm gonna teach Tom Cruise some manners," The rifle was pointed at the young man's kneecaps.
"Go ahead old man. Shoot if it’ll make you feel better. Go ahead! I bet you don't have the guts,"
Sherman Ramsey was beside himself with rage and his body shook. He took aim.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Sherman was so angry that he forgot the first rule of good marksmanship! You’re supposed to slowly S-Q-U-E-E-Z-E the trigger. Instead of slowly squeezing, Sherman had pulled, and far too quickly! This careless approach made the rifle barrel drift from its target each time he pulled, causing him to miss his mark. This made him even more frantic than before and as he was reloading, Tom Cruise and Tiffany ducked out the front door.
Sherman was furious and dropped many shells on the floor as he reloaded. He shot off two rounds by accident as his shaking fingers fumbled with the reload. By the time he was ready, Tom and Tiffany were long gone.
He sat on the floor, facing the front door and waited.
He would wait a long time because Tiffany and Mr. Cruise (or whatever his real name was) were on their way to Las Vegas. Whether they would get married or not, no one knew—they were young and their hormones were racing and anything was possible.
©2010 Tom Roy
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